Trials and Tribulations of an Artist - part one

So I have been sharing my creative journey through Intentional Creativity with Shiloh Sophia. I am truly enjoying the pathways here. Learning and absorbing new knowledge that in turn I share with all of you. My creative journey is led to creatively share. There are so many people out their searching and exploring a creative life.

So my first assignment was to complete a painting - My Legendary Self. Following the 13 step process (remember yesterday - I don’t always like to follow direction). Curious about this process? As I dive deeper, I will be sharing a whole creative retreat on the subject (stay tuned my creatives!)

Ok back to my assignment. Of course I get excited about having a project that includes painting something. And, we all know how I love to follow directions. So this process was tough. Just exploring and learning about the teachings of Shiloh, I just had to put my two cents into the process. She does encourage it though. I started a piece and went with it. I loved the beginning stages, the code and symbols I created. I loved the message it was pouring out onto the canvas. BUT……..

That pesky :”hated it”: syndrome set in. I got into a funk that I just could’t get out of. Everything I did, color, line, cover up just didn’t work or want to work in my direction. Let me tell you creatives - you will face this stage in your creative process. It is inevitable. It comes onto you like a ton of bricks and as you try to pick each brick off, it comes back two-fold. I am not trying to scare you but to prepare you. Be ready my creative…..

Anyway, after several attempts at salvaging this sinking ship, I came to the conclusion that I needed to let this canvas go. Give it space and resolve to take the defeat. It was ok. I have done this several times before. I had a brand new, still wrapped, even bigger canvas waiting to come in for the clutch.

Sometimes you just have to let it go…..

I have a lot of these paintings in creative purgatory. They sit waiting for a renewed chance at life. Some will emerge and be glorious, many will remain and when it is time to purge, they are let go. I am ok with this. Or, let me say, I have grown and learned to be ok with this.

I guess I have meandered away from my talk about my Legendary Self. Well I did that. - I opened a brand new, bigger canvas and started over. I watched and followed Shiloh closely, journaling and making notes about the process. Then working with myself to incorporate these ways into my already established process. I slowed down and listened. I allowed myself to step back and observe. Yes, I faced the “hate it” phase but I continued on - listening, observing, learning and opening.

Guess what she emerged…..

My Legendary painting emerged through it all and I loved her! She is not perfect - I know I could add, adjust and change many things but she emerged.

So moral to the story - I guess I want to say - artists (even the professional, established ones) are not perfect. Just like a newbie picking up a brush for the first time, you will always have these feelings of fear and failure and ugh that need for perfection. You will always hit that “hate it” phase. You may have to let go a few (a lot of) times. You will feel defeated. But, starting over, covering up, redoing ain’t all that bad. Renewing and refreshing can be the key to a successful painting. I mean look at it as that mess up canvas was the practice - now I am ready!!

So here is my Legendary Self

and I the story that emerged from it:

ENJOY!!!!

“

Title: “Speak to Me Goddess, Girl Tell Me Your Story...”

Her feet lay firmly in the flow of water.  As the tides dance in and out, she is grounded in it’s flow of energy.  The waves are her foundation, her breath - moving in and out - inhaling and exhaling.

She is at PEACE.

Her body is embraced by the Mother.   Her protector, the wise one.  She embodies the Earth- her core.  Nature: the trees, the soil, every living being grows from every pore on her body.  Her breasts, her heart, fingers and toes and every lock of hair grow a branch of life.

She is ALIVE

Her mind lays high in the heavens.  Her aura illuminates all the colors of the rainbow.  This is her cosmic playground.  She speaks to the moon and stars and the galaxies tell her stories - she listens to them.   She embraces her spiritual guidance here.  Her dreams live here.   Her soul thrives here.   

She is PRESENT

She is a Legend - created by the water that flows beneath her, the Earth from which she grows and the heavens where she can imagine and create her journey - her story.

Her Legendary Self - A Badass Sister, Mystical Goddess and Creative Soul 

She is at PEACE

She is ALIVE

She is PRESENT

SHE IS Right where she needs to be.....