The Emotional Rollercoaster of Creating
Have you ever felt like your emotions were on a wild ride while working on a creative project? Does your creative practice experience fierce mood swings going from love to hate in a matter of seconds? Don’t worry you are not alone - It's not just you. The creative process can be a rollercoaster of feelings, from exhilarating highs to crushing lows. It can bring us to a complete halt and envelope us into amazing creative flows. Let's explore some of the common emotional swings that creative practice can experience.
THE BEGINNING - Inspiration and Excitement:
The initial spark of inspiration can be euphoric. Ideas flow freely, and the possibilities seem endless. It's like being on a high, filled with excitement and anticipation. We get an amazing idea or inspiration and we can’t wait to activate the next blank canvas with our adventure. It feels good and our creative juices are flowing freely. We may not have a complete roadmap to our inspiration but we have a spark that is ready for ignition.
THEN COMES - Doubt and Fear:
As you delve deeper into your project, doubts may start to creep in. You might question your abilities, the viability of your ideas, or even the worthiness of your endeavor. Fear of failure can be a crippling force, leading to feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. You may decide to take a break and scroll through social media and BAMMM!!! It happens, we begin to compare and the flaws in our work begin to appear. Our internal critic begins to emerge and whispers negativity into the mix. This is sometimes called the “ugly” phase.
THE DOUBT BUILDS AND TURNS INTO - Frustration and Impatience:
When things don't go as planned or our internal critic gets louder and louder, frustration can set in. Roadblocks, writer's block, or technical difficulties can be incredibly frustrating. Impatience can also be a factor, especially when you're eager to see your vision come to life. We continue to scroll on social media and see the appearance of perfection from other artists. Our ugly phase seems to continue and the finish line seems too far away or worse unapproachable. I admit this is the part of the rollercoaster where I want to get off. For the most part, I have allowed many projects to come to a halt here and end up in the unfinished pile.
IF YOU CAN GET PAST THAT - Pride and Accomplishment:
Overcoming challenges and completing a project can be incredibly rewarding. The sense of pride and accomplishment that comes with finishing something you've created can be exhilarating. You decide to ignore the annoying inner critic and get past the judgments that you have placed on yourself and you can finally see the light. Getting through the negativity and self-doubt can create another bout of excitement. YESS! I have slayed the dragon! We begin to see that we can do this and our process if we trust it, can get us to the finish line. We celebrate our success and can finally see our creative goal. It feels good to be here. The finish is near.
BUT WAIT - THIS HAPPENS - Vulnerability and Exposure:
Sharing your work with the world can be both exciting and terrifying. Putting yourself out there can make you feel vulnerable and exposed. Now that we have gotten to the finish line it is time to tell the world what we did. Why are we hesitating? Why are those self-doubt feelings coming back to haunt us? We feel beat down and then fear sets in - I can’t possibly post this on social media because it just doesn’t stack up with the rest of them. Someone is going to hate it or even worse, see that I am a fraud. An AMATUER!!!
YOU FEEL NO ONE UNDERSTANDS - Loneliness and Isolation:
The creative process can be a solitary one. Sometimes, it can feel like you're the only one who understands the challenges and joys of being creative. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. We are embarrassed to share these feelings because many won’t understand or, we think those “perfect” artists on Instagram making all the money can’t possibly go through these same feelings. They are perfect RIGHT? You decide NOT to enter your work in an upcoming juried show because it is not ready and you continue to hide in your studio until you can get it right.
BUT IF WE CAN GET PAST OUR INNER CRITIC - Joy and Fulfillment:
When you connect with your creative work on a deep level, it can bring a sense of joy and fulfillment. The ability to express yourself and share your unique perspective can be incredibly rewarding. Yes, all artists have some sort of rollercoaster ride when it comes to their creative practice - even the ones we think are “perfect”, We are amazing and our work deserves the right attention. We should be proud that we just engaged in the act of creating and not get caught up in the act of comparison.
Remember, these emotions are all part of the creative journey. We all go through it - the newbie artist, as well as the seasoned professional. It's important to acknowledge and accept these feelings, rather than trying to suppress them. We can take the time to listen to our inner selves and feel ok when we feel doubt about our work. Using these feelings to help us understand and work towards growing and thriving as an artist. By understanding and embracing the emotional rollercoaster of creativity, you can navigate the process with more resilience and fulfillment.
So go forward my fellow creative. Take the blank canvas and play to your heart’s content. Embrace the ugly and the chaos and allow yourself to trust the process that you CAN get there. I always say in my creative practice that we are slowly adding information to our canvas. Each brush stroke is bits of information that will eventually build up to our final masterpiece.
