I Am an Introvert and Proud of it!
I wanted to revisit this topic today. I posted this blog post a few years ago and still feel it is my best post. Being vulnerable and sharing my inner thoughts has been difficult at times. Even today, I struggle with being open and outgoing.
Introverted artists often face unique challenges in a world that frequently celebrates being outgoing and social connection. The push to go live, and record TikTok and Youtube videos can be almost unbearable. Their preference for quiet contemplation and solitary work can sometimes be at odds with the demands of the artistic community. If you can relate, hiding out in your creative space without having interaction with other social beings is like heaven on earth.
But as much as the need to be alone has felt so good, this internal struggle has also kept many from realizing a ton of opportunities.
Struggles of an Introverted Artist:
Social Isolation - the thought of being alone feels like a perfect opportunity to get work done (even though I might procrastinate a bit and get caught up in my usual daydreaming). The social interactions that help boost an artist’s career such as networking and social events can create a large amount of anxiety and fear.
Fear of Being Judged - The feeling of walking into a room full of people and everyone looking at you. Then add the feeling of having them look at your work in which they might have something negative to share about it. That fear is real and has kept me from many Art Events.
Difficulty Expressing Self - Many times my ideas, dreams, and stories swirl around in my inner thoughts but being able to share this with an open group can sometimes be terrifying (this is also a product of being judged). Will they laugh at me? Will they know that I am not an expert? It is so much easier to stay quiet, and return to my quiet safe studio to hash out those thoughts and expressions with myself.
The Pressure to Be Like Everyone Else - When you are in a social setting, the pressure to be like everyone else is tiring. Playing the role of a talkative, energetic, and amazing artist can sometimes be uncomfortable and inauthentic.
Overcoming These Challenges
Find Your Creative Tribe: Seek out like-minded individuals who you feel safe around. This community should allow you to express yourself without judgment and create an environment that is nurturing and understanding of your needs. Online communities and local art groups can provide valuable support and connection.
Practice Self-Care - Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care to maintain your mental and emotional well-being. Engage and disengage in activities that align with where you are feeling presently. If social media is too much - take a break. If sharing your art is not a thing today - leave it for another day. Take breaks and take care.
Establish Boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries to protect your creative space and energy. Don't feel obligated to attend every event or participate in every social activity. Don’t feel as though you have to share every day on social media.
Embrace the Uniqueness of You: Recognize and celebrate your introverted nature as a strength. Your unique perspective and approach to art can set you apart from the crowd. This is your unique style coming through. Take time to notice it.
Utilize other Creative Outlets to Help You Express Yourself: Explore writing, Knitting, cooking, or other creative endeavors that can give you a break and timeout and also, help you open up to express who you are.
These challenges can be your superhero - embrace your uniqueness and your quirkiness. Here is my story of how overcoming the uncomfortable and finding my mojo in the process. This blog post was published a few years ago and still speaks to me as an artist:
I am an introvert. I am always uncomfortable in social situations and getting up in front of a crowd is crippling. I am the person who will never go shopping on Christmas Eve, I have always carefully planned my shopping visits to times that I knew I would be alone. I love going to the movie theater on weekdays (I am the only one in there). I always want to just slip into the background and not be seen. Talking or socializing can be so tiring sometimes - almost to the point of exhaustion and embracing a group of strangers is extremely uncomfortable. Maybe that is a bit more than just being an introvert (I also grew up an only child) but I like who I am and my uniqueness. The pandemic has in some ways allowed me to kind of be myself (but I still want to get back to normal)
So being the person I am, how the hell was I able to do this?
So a little back story…
When I started painting again, I began to set the stage for my departure from the corporate world. I hated working in finance. Even though I had devoted about 20 years into it, getting every financial license I could and making a good amount of money doing it - It made me so unhappy. Once I started painting and creating - I knew what I wanted to do. So as I was beginning the transition and planning the stage for my release, I knew I needed to find income somewhere else. Well, my husband happened to mention it too. So out on one of our monthly date nights, we passed a rather exciting venue. There were people inside getting ready to paint with wine glasses in hand. There was loud music and everyone seemed like they were having a good time.
I was like - “this looks like fun.”
My husband said, “Yeah, you are going to email them tomorrow and ask for a job here - this is perfect for you.”
Inside my head, “Yes this looks perfect - BUT - this involves getting up in front of a large crowd - I Can’t Do That!!!”
The next day, my husband reminded me to email them. Inside my head - made every excuse as to why this job wouldn’t be right for me (you know the excuses were only because I was too scared). My husband persisted. (He is very persistent).
This was a paint and sip studio called Pinot’s Palette. So people sign up to paint the painting of the evening or day and an instructor guides them step by step (and of course a glass of wine too). Everyone leaves with a masterpiece - you are kind of like a Bob Ross rock star!
So I emailed them. And low and behold - I got the job! I went into the interview with so much confidence - meanwhile, inside I was terrified. They didn’t even see my inner trembling because after a few short training sessions, assisting other instructors, and observing - They did it! They scheduled me to teach my first class.
Oh No! I am going to be exposed! They are going to finally see right through my disguise that I am totally unqualified for this job. How am I going to put on a microphone and guide a full class through a painting? How am I going to be entertaining if I am scared as hell? I was terrified - really - my stomach hurt - my chest was tight - I was in complete survival mode here. I practiced and practiced at home. I wrote out what I was going to say word for word and do step by step. What if I look like an idiot? What if I screw up the painting? The inner critique was having a field day with me.
Then I watched this video….
It was a TED talk with Amy Cuddy - discussing the concept of “Fake it until you become it.” It changed me. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy talks about "power posing" - standing in a posture of confidence (Wonder Woman pose) and even when we don’t feel confident - we can change this feeling to be more positive - simply by changing our posture. Sounds too good to be true right? Well, I did it. I was ready - I went in the bathroom and struck my pose - I looked in the mirror and said, “Yess, I am going to get up there and be a rock star!” I put the mic on and that day changed everything - I could do this!
Long story short. I worked at Pinot’s Palette for about seven years. I eventually became the Lead Artist and trained others to gain that same confidence. I helped manage three studios. I taught over a thousand classes, private parties, and corporate team-building events for groups of adults, little four-year-olds, special needs adults, and children. I guided scientists, doctors (yeah brain surgeons), accountants, and CEOs on painting and utilizing their right brain. My largest class was 250 teenagers!!!
250 Teenagers in one room!
I commanded the stage like a pro.
There was not one situation I couldn’t handle. I could take on a group of 30 - 5 year olds - have them captivated for two hours without an assistant (parents were in awe of this power). People would confront me after class and look at me as if they just experienced a life changing experience. They couldn’t believe they could be led to create like this. If you told me before class “I can’t even paint a stick figure.” I would respond - “you haven’t taken a class with me yet.” I was super confident - I stood tall on stage and even if I made a mistake - I flowed through it. I was a ROCK STAR!!! I was in a zone when I placed that wireless mic on - It was like I put on my technicolor dream coat and “became it.” If I had shared with anyone that this actually terrified me - no one would believe me.
Teaching on my birthday to a SOLD OUT crowd!
Covid put me back in my place though - I would have probably still been working there if we didn’t have a pandemic to fight. We had to shut down and my uncomfortableness returned (I was ok with that based on the circumstances). And, I decided to pack up my life and family and move to California. So my life as a rock star ended in that context - I transformed into something else!
But I learned so much in those seven years. I transformed and adjusted - I moved that confidence online. I host live painting sessions with ease and continue to guide others to see their creative potential. I gained the attention of other well-established creators and my online following grew. But it all started that day when I took the leap - I tackled my fear head-on and won!!! I struck a power pose and knew nothing could stop me. Yes, I was completely exhausted afterward but I could do this.
So yes I call myself an introvert and I am proud of it!
